Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
by HallowedInk
Summary: Hogwarts is full of rulebreakers, of course. Here are 150 things they know they can't do. Let the rulebreaking commence. [The rules are not mine, I am borrowing them.]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Note: I know this had been done before, but I promise I will not copy the ideas of any other author who has done this. Any similarities are purely coincidental. Enjoy.

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**Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

**Rule 1:**

"_I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colours indicate that they are 'covered in bees'."_

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The Slytherins were having an especially difficult time that year, because of the rumours going round. Of course, everyone naturally assumed that the heir of Slytherin was in Slytherin- that was logical- so they had suddenly all become suspects.

Even though they all knew that they were innocent, they would never be able to convince the other Houses of that.

With the increased surveillance and tense, jumpy atmosphere of the school, the students were unable to sneak out of their dorms at night and prank other students, so the Slytherins had to find other ways to get rid of their frustration at becoming the unwilling suspects of the terror circling the school.

Given their companions, that is the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, and the necessity to stay out of trouble, they decided that the Hufflepuffs would be the best targets.

This was because the Hufflepuffs were too kind-hearted, and would not report them, although it may also have been because the Ravenclaws were too smart for them, and the Gryffindors too stupid to understand their jokes.

In any case, this was why Draco Malfoy, who found it rather amusing, as the immature twelve-year-old he was, to bug the little first year Hufflepuffs, was sauntering towards the afore-mentioned House' table.

Sissy, a little blonde Hufflepuff, whose hair colour told a story about her intelligence, was chatting animatedly to her companion, Marilyn, in between large bites of her syrup-drowned toast.

Suddenly, she felt a dull poke in her side. Pausing in her conversation about "that cute guy in the year above who had smiled- yes _smiled_- at her the other day", she looked down to see what had caused the sensation.

Seeing nothing, she continued. A moment later, something poked her again, _hard_.

"Ouch!" she hissed, jumping a few inches off her seat in shock.

She looked around in as much anger as her mild Hufflepuff temperament allowed, but saw nothing. As she went to go back to her discussion with Mari, she saw her friend's eyes go wide and point blankly to something behind her.

Turning, Sissy came face to face with what was considered by the firsties to be the most horrible and scary thing anyone could be faced with in his or her entire life.

It was a _Slytherin_.

And not just any Slytherin. Oh no, it was Draco Malfoy, who was towering over her, leaning towards her and-

_Poke_.

Sissy let out a wail of pain. "Stop it!"

Draco the Evil and Sly gave a sly smirk and poked her once more, slightly lighter, before leaning over and poking Mari as well; just to check he had their full attention.

"Buzz, buzz," he told them childishly.

"Huh?" The two girls looked up in confusion.

He grinned. "Buzz, buzz. Did anyone ever tell you that you look like bees in your uniforms?"

Sissy's jaw dropped as she realised what he meant. A few tears gathered at the corner of her eyes and she glared up at him defiantly.

"Hey, that's mean!"

Draco smirked and poked her again hard.

The tears fell and, wailing loudly, Sissy scrambled up from her seat and ran for the exit of the hall, tripping over her own feet on the way.

Noticing that Mari was still sitting there, happily enjoying her last mouthful of bacon and eggs, Draco turned on her now.

"Buzz, buzz! Look out; the bees are coming to get you!"

He swooped on her dramatically, spoon extended. She too let out a wail, and followed her friend away from their tormentor.

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Thanks for reading. I have the next 5 chapters ready, so here's the deal: I will post the next one tomorrow, and if I get two reviews I'll post the one aftert as well. Two more reviews and I'll post the next one, etc.

Please review! Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: Thank you so much for all your reviews! Enjoy the second chapter!

(Sorry for the shortness of the chapters!)

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**Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

**Rule 2:**

"_No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class."

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_

One day, midway through their fourth year, Harry, Ron and Hermione were enjoying an uneventful (but only by Hagrid's standards) Care of Magical Creatures class. They were studying Crups, and Hagrid was currently demonstrating the Crup's reaction pattern to unfamiliar objects (often students' hands).

Of course, everyone knew that the peace wouldn't last.

The disturbance came in the form of one Blaise Zabini who, as typically, turned up late for class.

When he did finally get there, Blaise sauntered cockily up to Hagrid, who was trying to get a book out of the grasp of a Crup's mouth, and said, in the best fake Australian accent he could muster- painfully mixing Australian and American slang-, "Howdy folks. Look 'ere at this beauty. A crup, eh? A mighty fine breed too, if I may say so me-self!"

He had to stop there, because his _manly_ giggles overcame him, defeating his strongest, most worthy efforts at holding them back. After a few seconds, however, he had beaten them back and was able to continue.

"Check this out folks! Now, I'm gonna' demonstrate to you the true capacit-ay of the crup!"

Smirking, he stalked dramatically over to where he had dumped his bag and hauled his copy of the thick Care of Magical Creatures book out.

Crossing back to where a shocked looking Hagrid was standing, staring at his student-gone-crazy in horror, he held out the book, copying Hagrid's actions of ten minutes earlier.

The crup, not recognizing the book, lunged for it, managing to escape from Hagrid's iron grip with a surprising burst of strength, and attached itself painfully to Blaise' arm.

He wrenched the crup off and backed away, looking on in disgust, before continuing on to spout sentences and profanities that would have scarred even the most hardy person's mind- still in his Australian accent.

Suddenly, Hermione burst out laughing.

The whole class swung around to stare at her, even Blaise himself, some in curiosity, some in horror, and some- mainly Muggleborns- sharing her amusement.

"Something funny, Granger?" Blaise asked, scowling at her and still clutching his arm.

Hermione, bent double and with her arms wrapped tightly around her stomach, as if she was trying to hold herself together, struggled to answer.

"Sorry… it's just… you sound like- like Ste-ve… _Irwin_!" she gasped out in between giggles and haggard breaths.

"_Who?_"

"Steve… Irwin! He was a- a Muggle… crocodile hunter!"

"Hmm…" Blaise thought about it for a moment, then said, in his exaggerated Aussie accent, "Well if you're sure, Miss Granger."

Hermione didn't see it coming, but suddenly she was lying on her side in the grass, her muscles giving spasms rapidly from laughing so much, and Blaise Zabini standing over her with a mocking smirk on his face.

"So sorry, my arm shot out by accident. Didn't mean to push you, Granger." His fake accent was still in place.

He held out his hand, and it took a moment before she was strong enough to take it and pull herself up off the ground.

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Well, thanks for reading! As promised, the next chapter will follow today, so check this space- in about ten minutes!

Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

Notes: Here's the next chapter. Enjoy.

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**Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

**Rule 3:**

"_Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not 'an extra credit project for Herbology'."

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_

It was nearing the end of the second term, towards the end of April, and the weather was as bonny and bright as it could get in April in north Scotland.

It was on this day, that Melissa Jackson, a small Slytherin fourth year, and Lea Holden, a Gryffindor of the same year, were seen sneaking down to a small, hidden patch of the grounds behind the greenhouses for the first time.

They were observed doing the same thing several times each day for a time after that, each time looking around shiftily and sneaking from shadow to shadow, as if scared they would be caught.

Quite surprisingly, despite all House rivalries, this dynamic duo was steadfast friends, going through thick and thin- and several hundreds of detentions in the process- together.

Anyway, back to the important things.

So, one day about a week into May, with exams coming up, the duo of troublemakers was to be seen sneaking once more to their little patch of ground that they had hijacked. This time, when they returned, they were both carrying opaque plastic bags stuffed under their robes.

This was to be their extra credit project for Herbology, as both of them were somehow managing to sadly fail one of their easiest classes.

_The next day in Herbology…_

The class of Gryffindors and Slytherins was huddled around in the sun, waiting for Professor Sprout to call them into the greenhouses. Soon, she did, and they entered reluctantly into the hot, gloomy greenness of greenhouse number three.

Before Professor Sprout could start the lesson, she found two very over-excited students standing before her. It was Lea and Melissa. Warning bells started pealing loudly and shrilly in her mind.

The two girls gave twin innocent grins and held out a clear plastic bag each to her. Sprout was almost afraid to find out what was in the bag.

"Here Professor, we thought we'd do a special extra credit project for you- you know, seeing as we're failing and all."

Professor Sprout was almost impressed- almost, that is, until she peered into each of the bags and realised what the girls had grown.

"I suppose you two think this is funny, don't you?" she asked them coldly, carefully resealing the bags and stowing them in her pocket. "Detention, both of you."

"But- but-"

"Don't make me make that a week, you two…" She glared at them threateningly, and the two fell silent.

Thinking that the danger was averted, Professor Sprout saw fit to continue with the lesson she had planned. However, she was so caught up in averting the danger one Gryffindor boy managed to cause by accidentally feeding a plant the wrong fertiliser that she didn't notice Lea sneak up behind her, or sneak back to her tray with two clear plastic bags carefully hidden under her robes.

Whilst Professor Sprout's attention was elsewhere, Lea and Mel slyly went around the class, offering everyone the choice between hallucinogenic mushrooms and marijuana. By the end of the class, everyone was high.

The month long detentions each of the girls got sure were worth the amusement of seeing the effects of magic use when the class was high on drugs.

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Well, that's that. My final chappy for today is coming soon, and then I'm off to type more. Please review.

Cya x.


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: Last one for today. Thanks so much for all your reviews. Enjoy!

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**Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

**Rule 4:**

"'_I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name' is not a challenge."

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"Oh, come on! Like I haven't heard _that_ one before." Oliver Wood's voice preceded him into the Great Hall like a foghorn, as he stalked away from an idiotic Slytherin who had been trying to make up cracks about his name.

He sauntered lazily over to the Gryffindor table and seated himself opposite the twins and next to Katie Bell.

"Heard what before?" George- or could it have been Fred?- asked as he snatched the bowl of potatoes away from Oliver and helped himself to a few.

"Oh, some idiot was trying to joke about my name," Oliver told him, claiming the potatoes and spooning a few onto his plate. He set the bowl down and turned to Katie. "Pass the salt please, Kate."

She passed it to him and shot him a grin. "It isn't possible to think up new jokes about your name. I've heard every single one possible," she told him.

Hearing this, the twins immediately sprouted two identical, devilish smirks.

"Uh oh," Oliver muttered, noticing.

"Nothing's impossible, oh Katie, dearest…" Fred began.

"Yeah, I'm sure we could come up with _something_…" George continued slyly.

Oliver scowled and started to stuff his food into his mouth, accidentally spilling a stream of gravy down his shirt, so as not to have to speak. He really didn't want the twins to start… They had been through this before. Every. Single. Day. For the last six years.

"Go on then," Katie encouraged, eager for some entertainment. Oliver scowled and sighed.

"Don't encourage them," he mumbled through his food, though it came out more like 'duncouragim'.

"Well, let's see…" Not to be stopped, the twins began racking their brains for the best jokes they could come up with referring to their friend's name.

"How about… 'Little Olli's sucking on a Lolly'!"

"That isn't even funny," George reproached Fred.

"You do better," Fred challenged, leaning back lazily to enjoy his brother's attempt.

"Okay… How did Oliver find out he was made out of wood?" Everyone shook their heads in disbelief. "He caught on fire!"

No one laughed, instead they all continued shaking their heads and rolling their eyes at George. George pouted childishly, scowling. "Well, sorry. This isn't so easy, you know."

"Giving up?" Katie taunted the boys. They exchanged a look and shook their heads.

"Never."

For the rest of dinner, the two boys went back and forth, each cracking a joke about Oliver's name. Some were quite original, although they got steadily lamer and lamer as the time went by. But all had one thing in common: They had been heard before.

Even when Ginny joined them and added her jokes, they couldn't find an original one.

Finally, the end of dinner came, and Oliver desperate to escape the jokes, hurried off.

Desperate to get in one last one, Fred and George shouted, almost simultaneously, what was possible the lamest joke they had ever heard.

"Woody's got a Woody, Woody's got a Woody!"

Oliver scowled, mortified, and dashed from the Great Hall. Cries of "Woody's got a Woody!" and howls of laughter followed him.

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Short and sweet. Please review: same principle as yesterday. 0 reviews- 1 chapter; 2 reviews- 2 chapters; 4 reviews- chapters; etc.

Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

Hi! Here's the first chapter for today! Enjoy.

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**Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

**Rule 5:**

"_Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate."

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_

_Dear Sarah,_

_How are you? I'm great! Enjoying your fourth year? I sure am._

_It's very cold here in Canada. We've already hit minus twelve degrees, and the temperature is still sinking. The teachers have given us permission to use magic in the corridors so that we can do warming charms._

_I've started taking Muggle Studies classes here, and we were talking about Muggle magicians the other day. The teacher gave us each a poster of a Muggle magician called Doug Henning. I was thinking of you, and I thought you'd love it._

_I've enclosed the poster, but you have to enlarge it, because it didn't fit in the envelope. It's a Muggle one, so it doesn't actually move, but I mucked around with it, and I got him to do a few tricks. Thought you might appreciate it._

_Anyway, I'm writing this in class, so I have to go now. See you at Christmas._

_Love,_

_Suze_

Sarah folded up the letter her Canadian cousin had sent her, and stuffed it back in the envelope. Then she dug in the envelope and pulled out a small, photo-sized picture of a crazy looking man with long hair and flamboyant clothes. Tapping it with her wand, she enlarged it to its regular size.

Staring at it for a while, Sarah wondered what to do with it. It was kind of cool, and she thought she might hang it above her bed. But no…

Suddenly, an even better idea came to her. Not wanting to lose her beloved poster, she quickly used the duplicating charm they had learnt only the previous week. Hanging up the original, she hurried out of the girls' dormitory to execute her plan.

_The very next day…_

Argus Filch marched into the Great Hall, dragging a very reluctant Sarah Finnegan behind him and clutching a scrunched up object in his other hand. He stalked up to the teachers' table, where Professors MacGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout and Madame Pomfrey were deep in conversation about something or another rumour that was going around the school at the moment.

When Filch arrived, they halted their conversation.

"What is it, Argus?" Professor MacGonagall questioned. In answer, Filch pushed Sarah in front of them. Filch was practically shaking with rage.

"Yes? What about Miss Finnegan?"

"She broke into my office and hung up _this_!" Now, he revealed what he had been concealing in his other hand. It was the poster of the "Muggle magician", Doug Henning.

The teachers realised this too, and Professor MacGonagall told him, "I'll take this from here, Argus."

Once Filch was gone, she turned to the fourth year. "You do know that that was highly inappropriate, Miss Finnegan. I'm going to give you a week's detention for that, and you need to write a written apology to Argus Filch, please."

Sarah nodded demurely, but she still thought the prank had been worth it. And so, apparently, did her fellow Gryffindors, when they found out, for she was the hero of her House for the rest of the day.

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Hi! well, I'm back. Sorry, I know I promised an extra chapter for every two revies today, and I'[m trying my best but I think I'm going to be one short. Oh well. Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Hi! Here's the second chapter for today. Enjoy.

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**Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

**Rule 6:**

"_I will not go to class skyclad."

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_

For a seventeen-year-old boy, Soffian Ryder was very immature. Extremely immature and loving it.

Of course, this meant that he pranked everything that could walk. Whether teachers, students, ghosts, or even Hagrid's numerous pets, Soffian had pranked them all- some even twice!

Alas, at the moment the great prankster was out of pranks. Having no ideas, Soffian had resorted to flicking through books to try to get ideas. Currently he was going through- yes, you guessed it- the dictionary!

Strange, what things you sometimes find in the dictionary when you aren't really looking…

Stopping on 'S', Soffian flicked through backwards, trying to find the word closest to his name. He never got that far, however, because another word caught his eye.

_Skyclad: "in touch with nature"; naked_

"Hmm…" Soffian stared at the word that had jumped out of the page at him, an idea forming in his head.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the school, warning bells should have started going off loud and clear in the teachers' minds at this point. Because when Soffian Ryder was planning something, it was _never_ good.

_The next morning…_

Everything was set for Soffian's grand plan- not that there was much to be set, but it was the thought that counted.

He purposely came late to class; Charms.

Throwing the door open dramatically, he cried, "Soffian Ryder has entered the classroom!"

Immediately, the whole room swung around to stare at him. Most of the boys looked away straight away, disgusted, although there were a few who couldn't… resist… staring (must resist!), but nearly all of the girls kept their eyes riveted on his… attractive body.

Of course, who wouldn't? He was _naked_.

Professor Flitwick gave a shocked gasp, bringing his hands up to shield his eyes as he nearly fell off his pile of books.

"Mr Ryder!" he exclaimed in horror, "What do you think you are doing?"

"Well," Soffian began slyly, "I'm skyclad- you know. It's natural. Everyone used to dress like this. There are some places where they still do." He was acting as if he was actually wearing clothes, even though it was quite… obvious that he was not.

"How disgraceful," Flitwick squeaked. "Go put some appropriate clothes on, Mr Ryder, and then we'll talk about the detention I'm going to have to give you tonight and tomorrow night."

"Sorry Professor," Soffian said, sweeping a deep, mocking bow. "I can't do it tonight. I'm washing my hair!" Seeing his teacher's unappreciative expression, he hurriedly corrected himself. "I mean, I already have detention- with Professor MacGonagall; you can check!"

"Very well," Flitwick said grimly, "Then it'll have to be tomorrow and the day after."

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Thanks for reading, please review!


	7. Chapter 7

I'm trying fof the next chapter today, but if I don't manage it, sorry! Enjoy.

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**Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

**Rule 7:**

"_The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball."

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_

Yule Ball, Yule Ball, Yule Ball. It was all the rave at the moment. Everywhere Georgia went, that was all she heard. Who everyone was going with, what they were going to wear, the like.

And on this fine day, there was one key topic on people's minds:

"Oh my gosh, everyone, you have _got_ to hear this!" Marla Canton could be heard to yell- rather loudly- into the Ravenclaw common room. Immediately, all of Marla's friends, and some who weren't, but wanted to be, gathered around, clamouring to hear her news.

Only Georgia didn't. And as Marla explained how it had come to pass that the cutest- yes, the _cutest_ (in their opinion)- guy in their year had (also a _Slytherin_, thought Georgia, although they seemed determined to ignore both that fact and the somewhat questionable nature of the Slytherins when it came to realtionships) had asked her to the Ball, we can finally meet our protagonist.

Georgia Skye, a Ravenclaw sixth year, had chestnut coloured hair cut to her shoulders and grey eyes. And she _hated_ dancing.

It had been her admirable, and yet utterly impossible, dream to avoid the Yule Ball altogether. And so far, it was working. But with friends like Georgia's, she knew not to expect it to last.

And sure enough, soon her good friend Ellie, had discovered her plan and arranged for them to spend the next Hogsmead weekend together in the village. Georgia had returned to school that evening with a stunning green number that highlighted her eyes and showed plenty of skin for the boys to discover how attractive she really was.

She was going to waste the opportunity though.

She hoped.

_The Yule Ball..._

Georgia had managed, even under the watchful eyes of her friends, to hack out a grand plan- and to keep it a secret for the past three weeks. And now, the time had come to carry it out.

"I'm meeting my date outside," she lied fluently. Her friends, already sufficiently impressed that she had a date, let alone that she was even going to the Ball, did not question her motives for meeting him outside. And thus, Georgia was able to slip away unnoticed, out to the grounds, where she would spend a happy few hours avoiding the Ball.

She would return to her dormitory late- she could face her friends tomorrow.

As Georgia wandered barefoot along the bank of the lake- she had removed her uncomfortable high-heeled shoes (borrowed from Ellie at Ellie's insistence) and was carrying them in her hands, holding them away from her as if they had a disgusting smell, she thought about what her friends would say. They would be terribly disappointed, and she was almost tempted to go in to the Ball now, just to appease them. She could tell them her date had stood her up or something.

But no. She restrained herself from giving in.

Suddenly, someone behind her spoke.

"What on earth are you doing out here, Miss Skye?"

Gasping in shock, Skye whirled around to peer into the darkness, looking for the person who had spoken. Unfortunately, she had forgotten she was wearing a dress, and in turning she lost her balance and plunged ground-wards. An arm shot out and steadied her, and she found herself looking into the old, wise, amused eyes of Albus Dumbledore.

"P- p- professor!"

Hurriedly, she righted herself, pulling out of his grip and smoothing her dress down nervously.

He continued as if nothing had happened.

"I'm sure that the Giant Squid makes a wonderful date-" Here, Georgia gasped and took a small step back, for that had been _exactly_ the excuse she had been planning to give. "-but I'm sure your friends are waiting for you inside. In fact..." He took on a dreamy look and stared contemplatively in the direction of the castle, "I think you have some admirers wanting to be your real dates to the Ball. Run along now."

Not wanting to disappoint the headmaster- or at least, that was the excuse she gave herself- Georgia returned inside to the Ball… Where she spent a lovely evening dancing with Marla Cranston's date...

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Thanks for reading! Sorry, I will not be working on a two reviews means an extra chapter policy anymore. If I don't post the next chapter tonight then it will be up tomorrow. I'm going to go for one chapter a day becuase they're so short.

Please review.

Ciao x.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: You know the ropes.

Please read the **bold** section of my note at them bottom- it's very important!

Enjoy.**

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Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts 

**Rule 8:**

"_I will not use Umbridge's quill to write 'I told you I was hardcore'."

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Soffian Ryder, currently a rowdy sixth year whose goal it was to piss off everyone in the year above him before they graduated and _he_ ended up the victim of annoying sixth years, was completely and utterly, unavoidably _bo-o-o-red-d-d_.

He paced the Slytherin common room in agitation, growling constantly in the back of his throat, and glowering at the blazing fire every time he passed it. There was always a fire going in the Slytherin common room, cold as it was down in the dungeons.

Suddenly, there was a commotion outside and the wall concealing the entrance to the common room slid back. A little blond girl stumbled in, crying.

After a moment, Soffian recognised her as his sister, Millie, who was in first year (and _her_ goal was to torture everyone in second year until _they_ graduated).

Spying Soffian, Millie dashed across the common room, tripping over her own feet in her haste to get to him and throw her arms around him. When she did, he patted her awkwardly- for what boy knows how to deal with a crying girl?- on the back.

"What's up, Millie?" he asked before he had time to think about what he was going to say.

"The b- boys were being m- mean t- to me…" Millie whimpered, clutching him tighter.

It took him a while to sufficiently reassure his sister, but eventually she headed off, content with his promise of pranking the socks off the boys for the rest of their lives. Now, he rejoined his group of friends.

"Aww…" Mark commented, laughing, "Soffian's such a softie, looking out for his sister!"

"Yeah," Xavier was quick to agree. "She's a Slytherin and you're a Slytherin, mate, you gotta' learn to let her take care of herself. You're acting like a Gryffindor, softie."

"Softie-Soffian, Softie-Soffian!" they chanted, amused at his embarrassment.

"Don't listen to them. I think it's great that you help your sister out like that," Diana, the only girl of the group, told him. She smiled at him comfortingly as she shoved Mark off the edge of another boy, Tyler's armchair, taking his place for herself.

Soffian grinned at her. "Thanks."

Temporarily dropping the subject, they started a comment on the fit girls of the school- to which Diana hid her head in her hands and proclaimed, "I will come out when you are done."

Needless to say, they retaliated in a sarcastic manner, joking about where she ranked on their list. ("I'd say your about 360ieth out of 50." "Oh, well I thought she'd be first, ya' know, seeing as she's our friend and all.")

Their conversation drew to an end, and they all headed off to bed at Diana's urging (motherly much?), however, we all know Mark and Xavier. They couldn't resist having the last word.

"Well, I still think Soffian's a softie."

Diana let out a savage growl and lunged at Mark to howls of "Are you a girl or a boy? Violence!". Meanwhile, despite his annoyance, Soffian was cracking up laughing in the background. Mark scowled at him from where he had taken refuge; behind one of the lush green and silver sofas.

Finally, the four boys and Diana managed to retire to their dormitories, and Soffian succeeded in evading all further comments on his relationship with his sister and his "questionable" masculinity.

The next day...

It was with his friends' words in mind that Soffian woke up the next morning, with his friends' words in his mind that he went to his Defence Against the Dark Arts class, and with those exact same words in his mind that he got detention- on purpose- from Umbridge. He would show his friends that he was no softie!

_That night in detention..._

Soffian was late for his detention, not because he forgot about it, but because he had avoided telling Diana about it until the last moment, always a bad idea. Regardless, when he finally arrived at the office-of-the-devil (Umbridge), a good fifteen minutes late, he managed to stay nonchalant and cheeky. As usual.

"You're late." Well, he certainly hadn't got the friendly welcome he had been hoping for!

Whilst Soffian wrote, Umbridge quickly busied herself with marking papers at her desk (she had, Soffian noted, written a neat little 'D' on every single one so far). For this reason, she didn't notice what exactly Soffian was scrawling on the piece of parchment she had laid out for him. She contented herself with the fact that he was indeed using her beloved quill, and thus would soon learn his lesson.

He wouldn't.

Instead of "I will not disrespect teachers", he had written "I told you I was hardcore" neatly across the parchment in lines, so as not to rouse her suspicion. According words had appeared on his hand.

Thus, when he started moaning and groaning in pain about a half an hour in (with only about ten minutes of true writing having gone by), she let him go without a second thought.

When Soffian returned to the common room, Diana practically jumped him in her haste to make sure he had survived his detention in one piece.

"Lemme' see your hand, lemme' see your hand, lemme' seeeeeee!" She snatched his hand to her, flipping it over to examine the damage.

"_SOFFIAN!"_ Her cry resounded all over the castle for months, never allowing Soffian- or anyone else for that matter- to forget that day.

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Notes: Wow, an extra long chappie for you lot, seeing as I haven't updated in so long! Ont aht note- I am so terrible sorry about not updating! I had the chapter mostly written out, but then my exams were upon me, and I couldn't finish the chapter. Then there was the mad rush before Christmas. But the chapter is here now, and I'm writing the next one. Er, I don't know how long it will take though.

Happy New Year to you all!

**Important: As promised, I will me writing a multi-chaptered story soon. Please visit my profile and vote as to which one you want. The poll closes at the end of January, so make sure to get your votes up quick! Thank you!**


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